ABEND

I am without a computer of my own for the foreseeable future. The hard drive in Drkn's and My computer died a nasty death yesterday. I don't know when it or the computer (if that is necessary) are being replaced.Anyone who wants to contact me reliably should do so by Phone, In Person, Or by Snail mail. I'm not sure how often I can borrow the Dragon's computer. I know I won't be keeping up here until Drkn and I have a computer again. Also unless I've specifically told you that I'm not speaking to you please assume any lack of contact form me is due to the fact that I don't have access to your information. Crystal hon I only had your numbers on my computer. (I'm not upset with you or anything and I'm sorry you were accidentally on a filter that made you uncomfortable.)This means the kids don't have access to email either so that will not work as a contact method for them.

Same to you

Calling me a fucking bitch in front of my nine year old child is really petty.Puppy told me that someone was calling me a fing b while they had her and her sister out shopping this weekend. She also seemed to think she would be in trouble for telilng me that this induvidual had taken them shopping at Victoria Secrets.I make sure people don't bad mouth Warin anywhere in the kids hearing or potential hearing, too bad I don't get the same respect from his household.

I have a room

it's even more or less clean. I can see teh floor and the walls and i can get to anyplace in teh room without tripping or banging my shins. I even vaccumed. Drkn and I spent a few hours today gettign teh room gone through and all teh clutter gotten rid of. I still have a few palces that need work but it is no longer an overwhelming task.next weekend we plan to tackle puppy's room (with puppy) after we go to my moms so sunday will probly be cleaning day.tomorrow drkn and I go look for dressers, his is trashed (has been for a few years actually but he kept trying to hold it together with nails and a hammer.) My dresser will become pooka's though it will still be in our room and I am looking for matching dressers for drkn and I. I also discovered that one of teh kitties has been peeing in the clean laundry while it is still in teh basket. I set down a basket and delt with a pooka five min later i discovered a puddle of pee in teh clean basket. So i had to re-run all teh laundry from that load.

Poem

I don't know who wrote this poem but I found it on a scrap of paper in a church after a friend of mine had been murdered. Several folks that I know are dealing with Death right now in one format or another. I offer the poem to you in hopes that it will bring you the solace it brought to me.Do not stand at my grave and weep,I am not there I do not sleepDo not stand at my grave and cry,I am not there I did not die.*******Edit to add the full poem that Kelshei found for me includeing the author*******Do not stand at my grave and weep.I am not there, I do not sleep.I am a thousand winds that blow.I am the diamond glint on snow.I am the sunlight on ripened grain.I am the gentle autumn rain.When you wake in the morning hush,I am the swift, uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circling flight.I am the soft starlight at night.Do not stand at my grave and weep.I am not there, I do not sleep.Do not stand at my grave and cry.I am not there, I did not die!Mary Frye (1932)

State

I go to State March 24th. I wish I had been able to get teh February slot but I'll take teh March one.I have to be onsite at 8am and I test from 8:30 am to 2:30 pm So keep a good thought for me on that day please. Between now and then I will be studing for between half an hour and an hour a day, and I wil be mediting and doing a ritual purification bath the night before. (As my instructor said nerves will sink ya so drop the stress.)Thank you to everyone who was keeping thoughts out that I'd get February and that I'd hear bakc soon. They sent me Email notification the written will probly follow shortly.

CEPT update

I don't know what date yet but they got the application and money order on Friday. Hoping like hell I get the February slot. So please keep those good thoughts that I get teh Feb slot, and I'll be posting as soon as I know what date I got.

CEPT

Heya folks we just got all our paperwork from the place we trained at. We are applying to take teh state certification exam. Please keep a prayer for us that we get the February slot. And lots of supportive energy on the day of test would be great as well. (test will either be on Feb 17 or March 24 I find out after they get my application and money order.)

life

Life is good.I got a bite of shrimp yesterday (on accident I thought the egg roll was the all veg one). Thankfully the daily allergy med I'm on reduced the reaction. My tongue, throat, and face swelled and itched for several hours but I never stopped breathing and I never got bad enough to have significant difficulty breathing. Got lots of errands done. Got to visit with mom. and am right now de-stressing after working on a difficult email.Good Thoughts being kept that emotions stay in check and things are worked out fairly would be nice. I know I'm having a difficult time keeping from feeling attacked.Pooka sees the lady form the health department tomorrow. (last Monday was me misreading my calender and thinking the 22nd was the 29th.) hopefully we will have more info on options for the pook at that time.Finding qualified child care for her is not easy. Especially finding child care for second or third shifts. So good thoughts that direction would be appreciated as well.

Pruneing

I've pruned my fiends page. Most of the journals dropped were dropped due to my stress levels rising more often than not if i read the journal. some were dropped because they dropped me first and I don't stay on pages where i don't think i'm welcome. Soem were dropped because tehy hadn't posted or commented in a long time. one person was dropped because of interpersonal shit between us. If you were dropped and would like to be put back on email me or comment and I'll decide. If you are one of the dropped due to lack of posting / comment i'll be happy to reinstate you. Any other reason and you'd have to convince Andara that we can read you without causeing problems. For soem forlks that would be easy, others good luck.

Blog for Choice

I'm one of those relitively rare animales, an anti abortion pro choicer. Yes I think abortions are horrible awful things, but I also belive they should be legal, safe , and easily availible. I firmly belive that life begins at conception, and all life is precious. I also belive that until the child is able to exist outside the womb it is a parisite. If a woman is put into the position of not being able to physically or mentally carry a pregnancy to term safely then she should have the option to abort the child. I've been in the position of not being allowed to choose when where or how I had sex, if I'd gotten pregnant then I would have died rather than carry my rapists baby to term. I've known girls who were raped by their fathers, and killed once the father discovered they were pregnant. (He was trying to hide the fact that he was rapeing them.) I am also a child whose mother went against a doctors reccomendation that she abort (pre Wade). I could have easily killed my mother, but she wanted me enough to refuse the abortion her Doctors wanted to give her.The issue of legal abortions is one where emotions get hot very easily. In an ideal world no abortions would be needed. Every pregnancy would be considered a blessing and every child would be wanted. We don't live in an ideal world.In our world females get raped, get pregnant when health issues can kill them, get pregnant when they can't feed the children they have, birth control fails, ect. . .In our world safe legal abortions are a nessacary evil, and they should remain safe, and legal as well as haveing costs reduced.

Cept

I have a friend who is in very bad headspace. The headspace is hurting everyone around my friend. I'm going to try to pull my friend out of the bad headspace, but I don't know that what I am going to do will work.Please keep a good thought or twelve for me that I make the situation better, since what I can think of will either work or blow up and splatter everyone with even more stress.Here's hopeing it will work.

New Icon

I got a new icon thanks to a new lj friend needing a distraction and me being willing to actually ask fo rsomething I was wanting.unique_the_same made this fro me from a bunch of squirrle pics I sent her. I had so many cute squirrles i wante dto turn into icons and not enough icon space, so when she offered to make icons for folks I asked her if she could do one for me. I think it turned out great. it might become my new default, have to ask folks in here about changeing the default.

Today is officially fired

Our neighbor just pulled a dead very large black cat out of her water cistern. And teh contractor bitch who called here to tell my neighbor about it sounded positively gleeful that she might have "found" our missing Kaelaes kitty.We aren't dealing well today. We are barely functional.